I’m not going to lie to you guys, I really thought I was so prepared to graduate. I actually felt over-prepared. I saved up lots of money over the years in case I was unemployed for a while after I graduated, I had applied for HUNDREDS of jobs starting 6 months before I graduated, I was ready. What actually happened was a totally different story.
I have to admit when I first graduated life was a dream. I spent the first 6 weeks after graduation traveling and enjoying life, and during that time I realized I messed up. John and I had not found a place to live yet… We came back from vacation in the middle of July and we had until August 1st to find a rental…. somewhere… we didn’t even know where we wanted to live.
At this time we also were dealing with the issue that I had a job that started mid-July and John did not. We didn’t know what we could afford, we didn’t know where to move… we were really just screwed (or so I thought). We ended up finding a place to live with just enough time and moved into a city we hardly knew anything about. We pay way too much for it and we moved in while I was just getting settled into my job. For the next 3 months, we dealt with the crippling anxiety John was facing being unemployed and the hardship it brought on me trying to support both of us.
The first few months were obviously crazy getting everything figured out, but now that I look back on it, it taught us so so much.
I not only learned John is resilient and smart, but I also learned that he has the world’s biggest heart. It was very hard for both of us dealing with his unemployment. We were both not handling it well and taking it out on each other. The problem was we were both facing insecurities we had never had to face before. John was faced with the idea of not feeling good enough to get a job. As the months passed, I could feel how he was questioning himself and his worth. All the while, I was so insecure about not having enough money. My identity is wrapped up in money. I run an affordable lifestyle blog for christ’s sake!
We learned we had to be there for each other to pick each other up where we were lacking and the insecurities we were facing were temporary. We didn’t run out of money, John got a job, and everything we were worried about became a lie we told ourselves.
I also learned moving to a city away from all your family and friends is not as exciting as I thought it would be. Don’t get me wrong I love where I live, but I wish all my friends and family thought the same. I thought once I moved to a cool new city, that all my friends and family would want to come here and visit. Instead, everyone says it’s too far and not worth the drive and it honestly sucks. It’s so rejecting when people don’t deem it worth it to come to see you.
Not only will no one come to see us, but we have made no friends. I expected to make friends at work, at my gym, in our neighborhood, and none of that turned out. We are so much younger than almost everyone we meet. We also don’t have much in common with people and it’s actually ridiculously hard to make friends. We’re doing our best, honestly, but it’s hard to be stuck in this place with just each other. We want community around us and we lack that so much.
Although this may seem terrible and not fun, I actually am that best version of myself I have ever been in my life. I am so much more focused on my passions and making sure that the people in my life are the people that matter. I have learned who’s here for me and who isn’t and I’ve gotten to improve every aspect of my life.
My business is thriving more than it ever has before, it’s going in the direction I want it to go, and John helps me with it more than ever. I’ve gotten my physical and mental health in check and I feel so strong and beautiful! I also love where I live. It brings me so much joy to have a house with space. I love decorating and exploring our fun new town, and also I never want to live any further from DC ever again!
I don’t miss homework; I don’t miss being in college. I miss having my friends nearby and a bar that John liked to go to. Six months post-college is a good place to be. We’re settled in, we’ve grown up a lot, we’ve realized so much, and we are in the best place in life. I can’t wait to see what the next six months bring.
Cheers!
Clark's Remarks 